Why I Became Obsessed with Resilience for a While
I used to be one of those uptight “perfect” girls. You know, the kind of girl who never breaks the rules, gets good grades, pays her taxes, looks cute, pursues a lucrative career and marries a rich guy. That was me.
I thought life was going freaking great. I drove a BMW, lived in a 6,400 square foot home, ate at five star restaurants, owned a successful business and stayed at the Four Seasons.
And then all hell broke loose.
Within a period of two years,
- My business was shut down by the government (due to my husband’s involvement).
- All of my assets and bank accounts were seized.
- My husband went to prison for failure to file a tax return.
- I made prosecutors and judges fuming mad at me because I took the fifth to protect my husband.
- I was indicted and facing up to six years in prison.
- I found out my husband had been lying to me for years (and that I was a complete idiot to believe him or defend him).
- I divorced my husband and vowed never to speak with him again.
- I barely avoided prison and the indictment against me was dismissed.
There’s more… but those are the broad brush strokes.
The aftermath sucks.
I was so grateful to avoid prison and have my name cleared. But, wow, did that experience leave me feeling vulnerable. I had no money, no business, creditors chasing after me, and overwhelming feelings of shame.
For a while, I let the fear consume me. I was terrified to move forward with my life—in a state of terror-induced limbo.
It was as if an atomic bomb had gone off in my living room and I was still shell shocked.
Finding a new path.
But… I am a survivor. I had to thrive. I had to find a way out of my despair.
I picked up a CD from Wayne Dyer about meditation and began oooommming and aaaahhhhing every day. I read everything I could find about trauma, psychology, spirituality and relationships. I saw way too many therapists. I lived in Spain for a few months and spent hours each day consuming self-help books, audios, and videos like they were heroine.
Over time, the shame faded. I could feel myself healing. And then something amazing happened: I reached a state of peace, purpose, authentic self-knowing and unbelievable love for others.
My confidence sky rocketed to levels that far exceeded my fear-based thinking of the past. It was incredible to find myself feeling ten times more centered than before my life was supposedly ruined.
(Don’t get me wrong, I still have my bad days… But I saw the light!)
The stuff I learned is so powerful, I started writing articles about it and posting it on my website.
Then over time, my thinking began to shift away from trying to overcome struggle to the concept of developing an exceptional legacy. Now, that is my focus, but I still believe my initial research into resiliency and my personal path to overcoming my issues and reaching a place of greater strength is helpful. So, I leave the articles up for you to read on this page. Or you can buy my book, The Resilient Way, which is basically a compilation of the articles I wrote (with another one thrown in for good measure).
My hope is that these articles will provide tools for helping others overcome crisis and thrive during times of change.
Life is unbearably long when you are paralyzed by fear. Let’s make each day count.
All my love,